fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
