i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
