she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
