I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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