Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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