At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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