i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
