I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
