Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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