dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
