you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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