She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
