Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
