can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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