oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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