This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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