I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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