you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
