Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
