I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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