I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just had sex bonerless
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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