Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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