All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize