That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize