Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
