she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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