I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
