You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
