But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize