how can u be prego again
im six kinds of drunk right now
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Alive.
So much puke
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
