I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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