My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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