so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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