genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
