Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
