The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
