Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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