Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
