The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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