please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
