I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize