I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
