how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I skipped work to stalk him.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
