brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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