Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
