I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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