dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
