How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
