Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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