How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
