dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
