Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
