We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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