I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
