I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize