Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When are your genitals available?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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