somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
