It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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