well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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