I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
