seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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