i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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