Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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