Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
