it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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