don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
